& we were only supposed to have some fun. iIwasn't supposed to fall in love. But that was your plan all along. Make her fall & then let her hit the ground. Leave before she could admit what you had done.
Just once in my life I want someone else ot kiss first. I want someone else to lie awake & wonder what the right words are, if they'll be rejected, if they're ruining a great friendship. I want him to want me so much that he can't help himself, that he's willing to risk everything for a chance to be with me.
Now the sky is turning blue, the stars disappear one by one as the daylight is nearer. And yes, you're in my head, but that doesn't make you here. And I've lost all my friends, but you're the one I miss the most.
Energy has been spent trying to believe you're not worth it, you don't deserve it. But I wish you did, because I can't live without this. And I'll remember you as the second or two people I knew who decided to screw me over, because it's the bolder thing to do.
I've been running around for the past year trying to find some clarity & all of a sudden, it's so clear, it's ridiculous. I just want to be with you.
And everytime you feel like crying, I'm going to try & make you laugh. & if I can't, if it just hurts too bad, then we will wait for it to pass. And I will keep you company through those days so long & black.
Since it's all I have, I want to go to sleep & dream of you & me, just off the coast, on a holiday so long & warm & lucky. I always wake up in my bedroom all alone.
Nights when the heat had gone out, we danced together alone. Cold turned our breath into clouds. WE never said what we were dreaming of, but you turned me into somebody loved.
You're desperate in finding something else to please you. You've been searching your whole life for something to mute, change, or just distract you. Something to put inside of you to give you the illusion of life, cause you've always been barely alive.
And now everytime someone ruffles your hair or asks you to dance, everytime the full moon is out & everytime the sun paints the sky, he'll be all that's on your mind.
You know that point in your life when you realize that the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden, even though you have some place where you can put your stuff, the idea of home is gone.
Sometimes you have something you need to say, but you can't, because the words won't come out, or you get scared & feel stupid. So if you could write a song & sing it then you could say what you need to say & it would be beautiful, & people would listen, & you wouldn't make a complete idiot out of yourself. But all of us can't be songwriters, so some of us will never be able to say what we're thinking or what we want other people to know we're thinking, So we'll never be able to get the chance to make things right again.
There are no bad words for the coast today. You never know why you felt so good in the strangest of places, like in waiting rooms & long lines that made you late & mall parking lots on holidays.
The light collects & projects your heart onto a movie screen. And if you close your eyes, we're always going to be that way, the way we were that night.
It's Friday night, everyone's asleep. And now we're walking home. Our shadows grow underneath the streetlights till they're overgrown. A perfect end to a perfect night.
if you're feeling frightened about what comes next, don't. embrace the encertainity. allow it to lead you places. be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart & your mind, as you create your own path towards happiness, don't waste time with regret. spin wildly into your next action. enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes; cause you'll never get another one quite like it. & if you should ever look up & find yourself lost, simply take a breath & start over. retrace your steps & go back to the purest place in your heart, where your hope lives. you'll find your way again.
to let go isn't to forget, not think about or ignore. it doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. letting go is winning. it isn't losing. it's not about pride, its not obsessing or dwelling on the past. it isn't about loss & its not defeat. to let go is to cherish memories but to overcome them & move on. letting go is accepting. letting go is having the courage to accept change, the strength to keep moving. letting go is growing up.
life isn't all its cut out to be. it has its up & downs but you have to embrace those ups & downs & learn from them. you cant just sit back & mope & make people have pity for you. you have to put those things that are hurting you aside & live. you only get one life & that one life isn't that long. you have to do everything that comes your way. yeah, you might get embarassed, but in a month, no one will remember. you have to do what you feel is right. you cant worry about other people. just live life how you want to live it. don't follow examples, make them. let people follow in your footsteps. sometimes you just have to dance around & look like a fool. other times, you just have to sing as loud as you can in your underwear & most of all, you need to laugh. never go a day without laughing, or at least smiling. it doesn't matter if you've had the worst day, if you just laugh, everything will be okay. for the most part, just be you. don't listen to others. they're going to make fun of you, they're going to tell you that you're stupid. but that's their opinion. it only becomes true when you start to believe it.
laying there with your arms around me, i felt so comfortable & safe. my heart was beating a mile a minute having you so close to me. as you played with my hair & kissed me, i couldn't help but smile straight from my heart. i could see how much you cared from the look in your eyes. it made me never want to let you go. to just stay wrapped in your arms forever, where nothing else matters but me & you.
i guess i could regret it all & feel bad for myself, but as the saying goes, "never regret anything you have done with a sincere affection. nothing is lost that is born of the heart." it might not have ended the way i had imagined or hoped, but nothing really ever does. so i won't stay mad or bitter or sad. just disappointed. cause when you think you've found it, you don't want to lose it. but sometimes, its just out of your hands. they say things happen for a reason. i guess it just takes some time to figure out what that reason is. im hopeful that ill figure it out & in the meantime, ill be picking up the pieces.
& he said, "you're cynical & beautiful. you always make a scene. you're monchrome delirious. you're nothing that you seem. im drowning in your vanity. your laugh is a disease. you're dirty & you're sweet. you know you're everything to me. & i want to tear down your defenses til there's nothing there but me. you're beautiful when you're angry. your love is such a tease. im drowning in your dizzy noise. i wanna feel you scream."
now it's two o'clock. the club closed, we're up the blcok, your handfs on me, pressing hard against your jeans. your tongue in my mouth, trying to keep the words from coming out. you didnt care to know who else may have been there before.
im a mess of insecurities, attention starved with a narcissitic twist, don't you think that im amazing, please tell me im worth dating, i have every reason not to leave home today.
when is the age or even the moment when you go from being kids to being something else? people say that we're growing up too fast today. sometimes, adults make it sound like its our fault or at least our choice, but how can we not? we feel invincible. we know so much. one thing i don't know is that we're so eager to lose our innocence & iwonder one day, we'll look back & wish we hadn't.
did you know what really made me fall for you? it wasnt the way you smiled at me when i walked in the room. nor was it the way you laughed at my jokes when they weren't funny. it wasn't the way you'd go out of your way to collect me from places when i felt low. nor was it the way you'd sit & hold me in your arms & tell me everything'll be okay. no. what really made me fall for you was the way you'd sit there for hours on end, listening to my problems, purely just so you could be with me. well, i just wanna tell you that the next time you walk in the room, ill smile. the next time you crack a joke that isn't funny, ill laugh. the next time you're feeling low, ill come out of way to pick you up. the next time you need reassurance, ill hold you in my arms & tell you everything's okay.
you might not be his first, last or his only. he's cared about someone else before & possibly will again. but if he cares for you now, then what else matters? he's not perfect, & you aren't either & the two of you will never perfect. but if he can make you laugh at least once, hold onto him & give him the most you can. he's probably not going to quote poetry. he might not be thinking about you every second of the day. but he will give you a part of him he knows you can break - so don't hurt him, don't change him & don't expect more than he can give. don't overanalyze. smile when he makes you happy. yell when he makes you mad & miss him when he's not there.
i think i noticed when things started to change. the hugs were quicker, the phone calls were shorter & weren't every night. we didn't hurry to the place we'd said we'd meet. the 'i love you's,' felt more like a forced, daily routine & really had no meaning. when we saw each other, the smiles weren't as bright or as big. our thoughts weren't only of each other. we seemed uninterested. we felt unloved. we had too many doubts. i thikn i noticed when things started to change.
